Seminary Teaching

My mind is completely blank...

Ok that's not true, I just don't know what to write. Truthfully my mind is racing 1 billion miles an hour in 48 different directions. Life is busy. Good busy, but still busy.

Right now seminary teaching is what is occupying my mind the most.

I wake up at 5:30. Ok, actually that never happens. At the beginning of the new school year I started by waking up at 5:30 so I could make it to my seminary class on time. As the weeks and months have gone by I slowly started waking up at 5:45, and I was still able to make it on time. That turned into 6:00. Now it is more like 6:15 I roll out of bed, shower, shave, comb my hair, brush my teeth, and stumble out the door. I teach seminary at Lone Peak High School in Highland Utah. It might be Alpine Utah... Or maybe Cedar Hills... Those 3 cities are all basically the same thing. I usually arrive just after 7:00. I have just enough time to set up my class before my digestive system kicks in and I have to go to the bathroom. My body seems like it is on a timer most days. Almost to the minute. (Not that you need to know any of that...) Right after that I go to my meeting with the rest of the seminary teachers to start the day. 

That ends just in time to begin class. Class starts with a Hymn, Prayer, and Scripture Thought from the students while I silently take roll. Once I'm done taking roll on my phone I hit the little button at the top that looks like a little envelope, and that sends an email to all the parents of students who are not there. A lot of times if parents get that email they will call or text their kids and threaten them to get to class or else! It works surprisingly well. After that we jump into the lesson. 

My A-Day class always seems a little harder to teach. They are good kids, but I often find myself getting a lot of blank stares and sleepy looks when I ask questions. Granted it is first period and everyone is tired, but the energy in the class is just always hard to focus. I worry about them a lot. There are 4 or 5 kids in particular that I worry about more than the others. They just put up this wall that feels like they are telling me, "I don't care. Try to teach me, I won't listen, and there is nothing you can do about it." I feel like I have tried everything.

My B-Day class is a completely different story. They are also the first period of the day, but they are alive and alert and ready to learn. It is really amazing to see the difference. 

I hate to admit it but most A-Days I walk away from class feeling completely drained. On B-Days I normally walk away from class excited and on a high that makes it so I can't wait to teach again. I don't completely understand it. 

My very least favorite part about the whole job is the amount of anxiety I feel. I have lots of moments where I love being in front of the class teaching and getting to know my students, but as soon as class is over I am stressing about the next lesson. Preparing, reading, studying, putting lessons together, thinking about students, trying to ballance my time, shaving, worrying about if my socks are too crazy to be a representative of Jesus Christ, worrying about not spending enough time as a seminary teacher, and a billion other worries that constantly cross my mind. It's a never ending cycle, and I hate it. If it wasn't for the anxiety I might actually consider making a career out of it, but the problem is my other job brings me the same level of difficulty so I feel like I am accomplishing great things, but it doesn't make me overly anxious or stressed. I work hard, but rather than worrying I feel at peace even though my other job is debatably harder.

I don't know what will happen at the end of all of this. Until then I guess I just need to remember to enjoy the journey.